There are three things in my life I cannot stand. Travel anxiety, arugula, and uncertainty. The spring is a season of change that for some changes their mood for the better. But for others the spring means transition. Normalcy is slowly stripped away and time moves at a rapid speed. I have been feeling this transition fairly hard these past few weeks. Deciding big life choices that I may not be ready to make. Leaving the community I have established. Wondering who I will be when I leave? How does one remain in the present when faced with daily decisions about the future? The racing thoughts and constant fixation on paths you can take can be daunting for someone who cannot even decide what meals they want for the week. The pressure is exhausting and the expectation to get it right is unrealistic to achieve. When your head hits the pillow the playback begins. An endless loop of everything in your life that could go wrong. So how about we decide that instead of feeding into the nightmare slideshow, we look at spring differently. Not saying to completely ignore the fears and anxieties we hold, but rather look for something different in the season. The classic spring meaning of time of ending, transitions, and changes, can be changed to embracing the spring's wisdom, growth, and warmth. Change the narrative of your story. Spring is the beginning. Spring is the moment you long for. Spring wakes you up from the repetition. Throughout the past few months I have had an internal battle for which version of myself I want to be. What do I crave? Is it safety, control, and familiarity? Or is it action, growth, and newness? The thing is, neither choice is right or wrong. That is the beauty of having choices. Any craving you want can be yours. The catch is that it will not be easy. You will have to fight for it. You will need to have compassion for the times that are harder than others. You will need to listen to your body and know that you will get to where you need to go at your own pace. I am sick of the idea that all of my relationships, passions, and routines have to be left behind in order to grow. You can change and be in a new experience while keeping the things that ground you around. Nobody is expected to leave all of the things they build behind and never look back. Decide what is going to serve you and keep what feels right. Move on from the things that hold you back, and welcome the new sensations you can feel. The seasons of familiarity and routine has helped us recognize what feels good. But spring has come, and change is approaching. Will you embrace it?
Song of the Week: any Phoebe Bridgers song
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