The College Reflection

It’s safe to say that the end of college does not feel as scary as I thought. I mean of course there are things that im dreading to leave such as my friends, comfort of being close to home, and my routine here but I feel more ready to take on my next journey. I would be lying to you if I said that I was not scared. In fact, you could even say I am terrified. But as we all face, there will be moments of good and moments of bad. Moments of excitement and moments of grief. But if there is one thing I know for sure, it’s that anything you feel or anything that you may be facing is temporary. So, in honor of this college experience coming to an end, here is the letter to my old self for each year. Enjoy!

Freshman Sarah:

Interests include: wishing I was with my home friends, wishing I had more friends at school, attending class (ha ha) and savoring my meals at the dining hall.

Setting the scene: A girl going through a hard breakup enters college with Noela and a random girl named Yasmeen who later you find both to be very important in your life. She struggles with navigating not having experience with drinking and has not found her niche yet.

Sarah,

First things first, acknowledge that you made it to college! You sleep in a bunk bed and share a room with two other girls. That is a BIG step. I know there are things you may miss but hold on to that feeling of excitement that there is so much growth to come. Continue to dive deeper into your interest in psychology. Compare and focus less on the girls around you who tear you down (most of them you will never see again!) You will make friends in college without having to go out. Allow that fear to hold less power. Having a boyfriend may feel great and all but just know that your friends should take priority over any man when you are 18 years old. Embrace who you are more. Go to more concerts and attend more on campus things. That monday night yoga class that you go to will open the door for something amazing, just you wait.

Sophomore Sarah:

Interests: Friends Friends Friends, AOII, AOII, AOII, learning how to cook, creating a love for working out, and daydreaming about living at the beach.

Setting the scene: A girl who thought she would be living in landmark but actually ended up in a 7 person apartment on campus with no dishwasher or laundry, and a room the size of a walk in closet. She is paranoid about getting COVID but also is dying to meet more people in her sorority. She has the first feeling of belonging at school.

Sarah,

CALM DOWN! You are eventually going to get COVID and you will be able to handle it just fine. Listen to Katherine when she tells you that cooking tofu and tomatoes in a microwave is NOT a real dinner. Take more walks, drive less, and continue to utilize the quad for as long as you can. There will be pain and hurt this year, but that will be the spark of your wellness passion and your ability to empathize. Do not let anyone walk all over you ever again. You know your worth, even if you do not want to see it sometimes. Enjoy having a leadership position but no need to take it too seriously yet (uh oh). Worry less about how others may see you and care more about how you see yourself. Changing your bed to the side wall was a great idea. The original setup was awful. Take school more seriously even if it is all virtual. Stay out of the drama. Proud of you for joining a business frat but keep in mind you will not end up being a business gal. But A+ for trying something new out and wanting to get outside sorority world. I think that helped you build more character. Finally, go to the doctor sooner about your constant illnesses cause it lasts for too long.

Junior Sarah:

Interests: Boys, becoming a psychology girl, working out, talking about living at the beach, taking baths, drinking more (at your comfort level) and actually being okay with it!

Setting the scene: A girl in a social era who gets sick every other day, gets the flu on her 21st, starts accutane, and is juggling being AOII president, a TA, Business Frat, etc. So basically hot mess express!

Sarah,

Hate to break the news, but you are not going abroad. It will all be okay. It actually allows you to thrive in other ways, and gives you even more motivation to work on your fear around travel. Accutane is rough but you are going to feel so much better and the pain is temporary. Again, with the illness, continue prioritizing your health and working through your sicknesses. All you need is a vodka pineapple and 1 kamikaze shot and you will be good for the night! Hello fresh was such a sice I am proud of you for being committed to bettering your cooking skills. Have less shame for being with different types of guys, but know that the fun will get old. You are killing the wellness account and don’t be afraid about graduate school, you will get in somewhere girl. President will make you grow the most out of college, but expect to have issues with your patience. Not everybody thinks like you. Spend more time with Cash as this will be your last year with him. Hold more space for things you love, and cut yourself some slack for handling everything.

Senior Sarah:

Interests: Teaching yoga, stressing about graduate school, baking and lounging with roommates, spending time with your amazing friends and finally being set on who you want around you, cleaning sprees, Thunder 45 bootcamp, boyfriend, and calling parents 5x a day.

Setting the scene: A woman teaches yoga twice a week and is the happiest she has ever been with her experience. She gets into NYU graduate school and is nervous but excited to move in the Fall. She spends the year focusing on how to better her mental health and fears. She gets chaotic at some points but finds herself always coming back down from the chaos.

Sarah,

Congrats on getting into NYU! The first thing I would tell you is to show more gratitude for the great things in your life. It is easy to spiral and feel like you are not enough, but if you take a second to step back and become the observer, you will realize that you are loved and supported. Those lavender baths hit different and I am happy you found things that make you feel at peace. I am very proud that you finished being president with ease. I know it was a lot on your plate. Enjoying being in love and silly cause it makes you feel more free and yourself. Only do things you want to do, this is not the year to be a follower. Continue to try and get Taylor Swift tickets even if it feels like there is no hope. I am SO glad you ordered clothes that fit you better, even if it means having a bit of sadness that you are not a tiny girl anymore. Enjoy being around everyone you love, and do not stop making people laugh and smile around you as that is a peak moment in your day. Get more sleep, try to finish Gilmore Girls, and look forward to an amazing summer of facing fears and doing things that bring you joy.

Writing this was uncomfortable but huge closure for me wrapping up my time in college. Good things coming soon… BYE